A friend of mine at fanfiction.net took the age-old question, "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" and answered it with characters from her favorite fandom. It inspired me to do the same for a bunch of mine, and here is my Eureka offering:
Deputy Lupo: That chicken is jaywalking! I can shoot it from here.
S.A.R.A.H.: I just hope that chicken didn't leave feathers all over my floors.
Zoe: Who cares about a chicken?? I have an astro-physics test in an hour!
Lexi: If we all just meditate, we can levitate the chicken across the road.
Vincent: I can make whatever sort of exotic chicken feed it might want.
Sheriff Carter: If you'd just build a simple chicken coop, you wouldn't have chickens all over the road.
Alison: Um, Jack -- those aren't real chickens...
I couldn't come up with answers for Henry or Fargo, so if you have any ideas, please jump in!